What Love Is and Why It Matters

Lack of love during the early childhood life causes poor emotional development during adult life. (Hurlock, 47)The way people respond to stress is not present at birth but is natured as people develop especially during the first few years when the brain is still fresh and young and thus the emotional development is crucial. High activity in the brain is an association to fear, irritability and a reaction of withdrawal from other people.

What is a legacy plan? It is associated with love because it is an arrangement of what one wishes to have but it should include the gift of good record, direction, family and personality. The plan stands to benefit the family, children, and grandchildren beside the personal gains.

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It calls for one to keep in touch with the wonderful personality, which existed back when things give the impression of extreme credibility. It is more fun and meaningful to plan for, and wish others well more than it is to have a working financial plan. The family love is a priceless offer. Unlike Oedipus, love is not blind, tragic or compulsive. The true meaning of life is to create love in the human consciousness. Cognisant being must be involved in all aspects and movements involving love. (Vacek, 1996)

Thesis statement

This paper is a critical analysis over the characteristics associate with the definition of love. It firmly takes the notion, “Falling in love entails spiritually nurturing personal and populace growth”.

Relation of love and stress

What is stress? Probably it is equitable to physical, mental, emotional or spiritual strain. The most common theory behind measures of controlling stress revolves around love, regular rest and exercise. (Lazarus, 254) Arguably, money cannot buy these quantifiers.

The love for something influences one to fight and attain it. As Peck would put it, our love to achieve anything forces us to willingly focus and change the attitude through pain. Everything that happens to human beings is designed so to conceal what one loves, thus the need to overcome the obstacle.

There is significance in giving a legacy plan to people with a close relation to their obsessions, beside the personal treats. If capturing and delivering love is not possible, as it ought to be, then it looses it eminent value. In line with Lazarus, (254) Lack of internal expression and thought over someone or something causes an under-attraction thus leading to forgetfulness.

Naturally, People forget something as a soon as they stop thinking about it. When one loves something /someone, all the love virtues are intrinsically achievable after one goes through some enduring amount of constructive suffering.

Personal perspective of love

The secret to happiness would probably be falling in love especially with oneself. Love creates the feeling of having enough energy thus the probably that it is an inborn feature that does not require nurturing but has a feeling that lives within as long as a person keeps taking care of it.

People luck the love because of spending too much time looking for it elsewhere while it is close to them. The external world is made of parents, friends or even strangers and their failure to express love disappoints and causes devastation to someone. The opinion of others especially when negative or against one’s anticipation shatters the personal sense of self-esteem and love.

Everyone wants to feel loved and affectionate. This is almost certainly the true meaning of the peace in the mind. It affects the inner fear and doubts and thus people are able to communicate freely concerning any subject matter. Bestowing wisdom requires an open and free dialogue and that is the reason why children are encouraged to create good rapport with others. Lack of practice over the issue of love early in a person’s life causes an awkward and clumsy feeling thus affecting how one handles some of these affectionate sentiments.

The child’s development with respect to personality and character revolves about love shown or given by the parents. Those children lacking the feel of love experiences negligence and fall short of proper foundation to build character. They undergo deficient in strength for a progressive growth. This is the explanation to existence of enough scientific evidence or correlation regarding the fact that lack of love for the baby diminishes its chances for survival. (Lerner and Damon, 2)

Validation of love in relation to Perk

Peck went into deeper details over the definition of love by arguing whether falling in love translates to “romantic love, dependency, self-sacrifice, or even a feeling.” According to him, it probably has something to do with “nurturing one’s own or another’s spiritual growth”. (81) “Love is the will to extend one’s self for the purpose of nurturing one’s own or another’s spiritual growth… Love is as love does.

Love is an act of will namely, both an intention and an action”. Personal motivation also entails ones option, meaning that it is not necessary for people to love but they choose to love.

It is impossible for a person to be a friend to others unless they are a friend to themselves. Originally, this concept applies for the analysis of love as well. The secrecy of attracting admiration depends on ability to attract and respect the personal attributes. Loving in a legitimate manner may be equitable to a desire as opposed to emotional.

The personal decision to love enables one to decide on venturing into a commitment to love regardless of the present feeling in the inner self at that particular period. Conversely, the possibility for a person to shun the personal acts catalyzed by the inner feelings of love is eminent.

One should love others than desire for the same offer of love from them. This calls for the ability to give love to others before they can reciprocate the same aspect. In line with Carter, (10) Loving others first requires one to stretch out of their personal limits, to do what they never longed to. When one stretches to do what they initially thought they would never be able to achieve, they feel victorious over great weakness that existed at the status quo.

Opening ones heart to embrace anyone who comes by or the situation that arises is the best life transformation experience. It is also one of the most important and courageous measure one would take since it entails personal will. When one is expressing love to strangers, then they are taking motivation to be acquainted with a new territory.

According to McGraw, (107) the development of the wisdom and love from the heart is therefore courage, which makes a person bold to taking the right, necessary and honourable action even when it is temporary and uncomfortable. In line with Perk, (80) “We must be willing to fail and to appreciate the truth that often “Life is not a problem to be solved, but a mystery to be lived.””

In his writing of, “The road less travelled”, Perk portrays love as the willingness to extend offer of self-service to others with the aim of nurturing personal and spiritual growth.

According to Perk (81), “A genuine loving individual will often take love as a constructive action towards a person he or she consciously dislikes or lacks actual feeling of love towards. One may perhaps even find the person repugnant in some way.” If a person stops, extending their will to give because of a feeling of poor encouragement, then the loving stops.

This is because love shows that people share their similarities while celebrating their differences. When such kind of relationship fails to exist, then the love is non-existantent.

People grow financially, socially, mentally and spiritually when they stretch their limits to help others. It is quite often to face challenges or coincidental situations when still attending other’s chores. The obvious test for love comes when one is tired. When it is the last thing one would wish to do, that is when someone emerges with dreadful need for assistance. The person then is arm-twisted to make a choice on what to undertake next among the possibilities in existence.

Helping others at their most eminent time of need calls, for one to emerge from the comfort zone past the point of pain, but the consents come in handy thereafter. (McGraw, 107) When working under this strain or stress, the ability to persevere to a point of agility is evident and thus the next time one faces similar situations, then the undertaking becomes easier. This is a good indication that loves for performance depends on the ability to undertake a task in a smooth manner.

It is human nature for one to become accustomed to a challenge if they faced similar position earlier and conquered. This causes the feeling for a need to face a more advanced or different challenge. The wish for growth depends on the ability to tackle the challenges involved. By allowing a move beyond the arbitrary accepted limitations, the capacity for love extends. (Perk, 82)

Relationships are the anxious and notorious opportunities to stretch the limits to a next level. This is because the soul is always ready to receive or exceed the limits whenever an opportunity arises.

Consistent with Fisher’s writing, (128) the initiation of love for a stranger or new task involves some deep soul concentration concerning the unrealistic expectations. This attention in most cases calls for some malleability to accommodate the involved persons. Most experienced people will definitely indicate that love would rarely cause them to remain at one point.

It provides a different chance, way of life or routine. The philosophy of love indicates that one should not seek love or affectionate from very far. In most cases, there is someone right behind the door waiting to help. The actions associated with the heart or those concerning love are very strong practically regardless of whether the language is poetic or not

In his writing (230), Perk considers love as a natural driving force that exists behind spiritual augmentation. The writer consideration over the existence of romantic love probably provides a view indicating some misconceptions in today’s or future understanding. He considers the issue of romantic love as mythical.

On the current understandings, love blossoms as a very tender, beautiful touch, a concern regarding care and provides the only moment one can stand out beyond personal feelings to embrace others and feel part of the whole. Most of the time people feel the need to compel their needs as opposed to revealing them. Exposure of personal wounds and weaknesses enable one to be accommodative of others needs too.

The most important feature is the love that arises through this kind of sharing. According to Pecks, (230) analysis, natural love is concern with dependency whereby the truth of love does not entail falling in love but the act of expanding boundaries of one’s ego to accommodate others. True love does not put up with the issue of “falling in love” but the spiritual nurturing of others’ feelings therefore that kind of love requires an effort.

In his perspective of love, Perk, (85) writing of “The Road Less Travelled” show that Love is not a feeling but an investment or probably an important activity. In line with his definition of love, “it is the will to extend one’s self for the purpose of nurturing one’s own or another’s spiritual growth” (85). It is a prime action of nurturing them than just the spiritual growth.

In the writing of “The road less travelled,” Perk, (231) also seeks to address the issue of Cathexis (explanation behind attraction of the opposite sex and love). The attraction is not love but an instinct controlling one to behave in a caring manner such as, cuddling something that they like for instance their pets or kids.

The issue of true love does not survive in isolation. Attraction has to exist in a sufficient and close manner for a consideration of straightforwardness. Love begins after one completes the attraction phase. Therefore it is an action proceeded by another.

It consists of what one does to another. As Perk (231) indicates in “The Road Less Travelled” writing, “Love is as love does”. It is an offer to others of what they need for growth. One must truly know and understand what the other person needs, to be in a position to provide. This indicates the need for initializing at ‘cathexis’ phase.

The issue of loving especially true loving might appear complicated from these perspective. When someone designates their love, then it is not from their want or because they cannot be in a position to own what they claim to love. The issue has nothing to do with the person. People love others from what they do and how they try to undertake tasks. This occurs through the analysis of personality, character, motivation, ability or strength.

Doubtlessly, one need to have sighted the best and the worst of the person they admire. What they see also need to be well and clearly understood. Through openness, people are in a position to express who they are. Living an open-ended lifestyle provides chance for others to consider their offers and it does not require one to dedicate the whole truth. This exercised courage assists one to step out and fight fear.

From a personal point of view, love is certainly a mystery that forms its basis from nature. It is probably comparable to gravitational pull, an unstoppable force or a vast, invisible anxiety that connects things that are alike. People always long for love and wish to love events without any strong basis for their actions. When they find the love, then they awaken to it because it presents care and well wishes without an expectation or demand for any kind of remuneration.

This is a good indication that the well-being of the loved person is not different from the person who expresses that love. True love calls for one to be trustworthy and therefore the love expressed to others is an indication that there exists trust. This is also an indication that the person expressing it is confident and despite the type of outcome, the aspect of love can still exist.

The importance of love for the community is to unite lives, expand people’s thoughts especially about others, connect different people regardless of their origin, race or ethnical group, enhance their personal views and dignify them by nurturing the inner feelings.

Conclusion

Love is a universal feeling experienced by everyone or every living being on the earth. The living being in this case is an indication that conceivably, love is not an attribute that is limited to human beings. It is a strange but unique emotional feeling that most likely has no certain definition one could use to describe it.

The characteristic of love revolves about an attached feeling whereby someone feels affectionate towards another or something else. The feeling is very strong and most certainly the reason why it forms a basis for discussion. The reason why people consider love is for the reason that it is a very important aspect in human life that satisfies human emotional needs.

Humans have the innate responsibility to offer and feel loved. The biological structure indicates that the feeling of love is responsible for the formation and maintenance of the societal development especially morally and socially. The birth of a child causes the parents to forget their urgent needs and divert all their attention to the newborn due to the strong feeling of love.

Love is therefore a great thriller or catalyst that enables people to achieve exigent tasks, which probably would remain unaccomplished if love never existed. “Love is an enigmatic emotion that exceeds all the boundaries to change people’s lives”. (Wallerstein, Judith and Sandra, 19)

The magnificence experience of love allows humans to express each other’s feelings with kindness and concern such that love can take a number of emotions. It is an ambiguous ubiquitous relation binding people together in different formats.

Love can be expressed in various ways including the “a passionate lover’s kiss, a tender mother’s touch, a fatherly concern or a brotherly, sisterly affection”. (Wallerstein, Judith and Sandra, 19) The sages have found out that everything and everyone has the ability to expresses love if they nurture their feelings.

Works Cited

Carter, Kasey. M. “Loving Others: Faithful Crushers”, Juvenile fiction journal Tate Publishing, 2009, Vol 1, p 10, pp24

Fisher, Helen .E. “Why we love: the nature and chemistry of romantic love” H. Holt Publishers, 2004

Hurlock, Elizabeth. B. “Developmental psychology: a life-span approach” Tata McGraw-Hill, 2001

Lazarus, Richard. S. “Stress and Emotion: A New Synthesis”. New York, Springer. 1999, pp.254

Lerner, Richard. M. and Damon, William. “Handbook of Child Psychology: Social, Emotional, and personality development: Volume 3 of Handbook of Child Psychology”, John Wiley and Sons publishers, 2006, pp 2

McGraw, Patricia Romano. “Seeking the Wisdom of the Heart: Reflection on the Seven Stages of Spiritual Development”. Baha’i Publishing Trust, 2007

Perk, Scott. M. “The Road Less Travelled: A New Psychology of Love, Traditional Values and Spiritual Growth”. New York, NY: Simon and Schuster, Touchstone, 1978, pp.81, 116-117

Vacek, Edward Collins. “Love, Human and Divine: The Heart of Christian Ethics
Moral Traditions and Moral Arguments Series” Georgetown University Press, 1996, pp 248

Wallerstein, Judith and Sandra, Blakeslee (1995), “The good marriage: How and Why love lasts”. Boston: Houghton Mifflin publishers

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