Having grown in humble and reserved family my early childhood life was very interesting and enjoyable because at least I had parents who could provide everything to me. My parents always emphasized to me the need to treat other people well, more so other children who sought help from me.
Owing to my age and lack of experience of the outside world, I could not see the essence of all they told me; instead, all I could feel was jealous seeing my parents share out what I thought rightfully belonged to me. As I grew, little mattered to me about other people, a notion that has undergone change as I have learnt many lessons from the treatment I gave other children.
Life as a bully
It is one thing to bully other children and another to understand what they go through in their real lives. This happened on my second month in ninth grade. All through my previous grades, I had always behaved as required, owing to the teachings I received from my parents.
On entering ninth grade, my company of friends changed, because I considered myself grown; hence, had to change my behavior to fit what I felt was developing in me; adulthood. One thing I never realized is that the rate at which all this was happening was too much for me to contain, owing to the fact that this friends introduced me to many new adventures.
For example, I had this friend called Hillary, whom we had grown with from the first grade to the ninth grade although he came from a richer family. Hillary introduced me to the internet something, which my parents prohibited me from because of reasons that I never I understood.
Another worse thing that he introduced me to was bullying, of our classmates and anybody we outweighed whenever we were out of teachers’ sight. In addition to physical bullying, he thought me how to use the internet to bully schoolmates and other strangers by sending funny and threatening messages, something that I never thought could cost somebody’s life.
Although this happened for sometime, it never lasted, when on my second day in the second month of ninth grade I realized some classmate I had sent some message to over the weekend was missing.
Although at that I did not bother, curiosity made me to confront her friends, who told me she was in hospital nursing her wounds after trying to take her life because of the psychological torture she had suffered from messages sent from a stranger. This hit me hard, to an extent after school I sneaked out of home and went to see her in hospital; although I never talked to her, I felt the impact that made me to almost confess to my parents; something I have never done up to today; however I thank God she survived the ordeal.
Causes and Effects of Bullying
The main motive of bullying is to dominate whereby; harm caused on victims is never a bother to the perpetrators, whether in their normal or “abnormal” senses. One question that I have never had clear answers to is; had she died, will I have forgiven myself? This is the guilt, which I live with up to today but, I thank God because out of this I learnt a lot, which has helped me to educate my friends and juniors on effects of bullying.
Bullying is one common practice in many schools that most parents and teachers have failed to recognize hence come up with workable solutions. Although the whole act is enjoyable to the perpetrators, it has many-associated harms on victims who sometimes are aware or unaware of their traitors. Bullying can be in form of verbal words or physical harm, although the most worse is internet bullying because in most cases the perpetrators are stranger.
To me I had clean intentions of bullying others; to dominate, but Hilary had personal intentions; something that I discovered later was a parental influence. Due to immense wealth Hillary’s parents had, they always had life their way, a vice; ruling others, they transferred to him and encouraged him to embrace. Ethically this is wrong owing to impacts such egocentric behaviors have on other learners; hence, a big warning to parents who propagate such vices on their children.
Although parents may contribute a lot to their children’s behavior, failure by school managements is also another common factor that has promoted the widespread bullying. Most bullies lack correct guidance from teachers, because in most cases school managements lack correct communication channels for reporting them, hence help them; something that was the case in my school.
Considering the trauma associated with bullying, majority of individuals find it hard to cope up with its effects, hence embracing evasive behaviors that are negative to the well-being of an individual. Majority of individuals never recognize that, emotional and psychological effects are more harmful as compared to physical harm from bullies. This is because physical harm is containable, but psychological torture is never. Therefore, it is the mandate of parents to learn their children’s behavior, so that whenever alterations occur they can offer help (DeHaan p.1).
In conclusion, considering the complexity associated with bullying, it is important for all parents, school administrators, and stakeholders to combine forces and end the vice. In addition, measures applicable to curbing the vice include parental guidance, implementing tough measures on bullies, educating youths on dangers of bullying (National center for education statistics p.1).
Dehaan. Bullies. North Dakota State University, Feb. 1997. Web. 27 Jan. 2010.
National Center for Education Statistics. School bullying: preventing bullying. 2009. Web. 27 Jan. 2010.
Having read a report on the number of juvenile delinquency cases resulting from bullying in schools and homes in the National Center for Education Statistics (NCES), I was touched by impacts such a vice is costing the society. Hence, this made me to consider writing this article; being a testimony, with hopes that it could reach parents and teachers who understand little about bullying. I wrote this article with the Monitor on Psychology Magazine in mind, being a common magazine among many U.S. adults and parents.