Anxiety is a feeling of worry, nervousness, or unease,
typically about an imminent event or something with an uncertain outcome but that’s
not always the case. Unfortunately, this is what thousands of Americans are
faced with every day.
Meghan’s anxiety attacks are stress induced. Its starts with
lightheadedness, her thoughts begin to swirl. Are his blood sugars to high, why
can’t I keep his sugars up? Does he have ketones? Why did he just up and leave?
Did he really love me? Are the nurses taking care of him? Freeze. Her mind goes
blank. She takes a deep breath, but it seems like nothing is being inhaled.
Heart races, palpitates, she’s getting shaky. Why the fuck did he leave? Her heart
is beating out of her chest. Sweat beads from her forehead. How am I going to
afford daycare this week? She takes the deep breath that she was longing to
breathe. The shakiness starts to ease. Will I have enough food for my kids to
eat? She takes an Ativan and a sip of ice cold water. Breathe Meghan breathe! The
feeling of losing consciousness overcomes her, she falls to the floor. Splash
of water to her face. She wakes but is pale. She’s finally calm.
My Anxiety is generalized anxiety and social anxiety. I tend
to get anxious in what, I, consider the weirdest situations. Whether I am I a
class, or walking in to an unknown store or defending myself. It always seems
to be here. Imagine being in a room full of people, suddenly this overwhelming
fear that, everyone is looking at you, when they really aren’t. It engulfs your
thoughts, almost haunts you.
He walks in and looks
at me. I start to tense up, tunnel vision sets in. My hands get clammy. This
kid just sat down right next to me. Why would he sit next to me? My chest gets
heavy, stomach turns in knots, toes curl. My legs start to bounce. Its break
time, I dash for the door. Get to my van, cigarettes, lighter in hand. I roll
the window down. Breathe. I feel the burn of the cigarette in my throat. Stare
out my window. Exhale. I can feel my heart beating through my chest. Just
breathe. I get up and lock the car. head back to the room, my comfy oasis next
to the windows. This kid is still sitting next to me. My head is aching. What
did the professor just say? People behind me, this hall feels so long, oh no,
tunnel vison again. Another new adventure. Oh, my sweet oasis by the window, at
least the sky is cloudless and blue. Please for the love of god, don’t sit next
to me. The churning of my stomach is back. This will be the class where I don’t
have an attack. He looks at me dead in the eye, he can tell that I am uncomfortable.
He sits a chair away. Thank god. My face gets hot, I can feel the perspiration forming
under my arms. Will this feeling ever stop? I stare out the window and shut the
noise out, in through the mouth and out through the nose. I can feel myself
relax. Tiredness washes over me.
person has different feelings when they have an anxiety attack, Attacks are
triggered by thoughts the majority of the time. The thought itself could come
from different things. Like thinking too long, or just a random thought in the
day, or the thought at the beginning of the day. To me it feels like you are
being dragged through hell and back. Normally, when someone is having an
attack, the common symptoms are short of breath, uncontrollable fear, or even
dizziness. You really can’t control anything no matter how hard you try. Its
hard to speak like you’re getting chocked. Your heart feels like it’s beating a
million times per minute. It’s a very unfortunate thing to have to deal with